I’m Grace – if that wasn’t evident enough already, but I suppose a crucial place to start.
I’m 25 years old, live in Tunbridge Wells, Kent and share a home with my Fiancé – Andrew, Luna the sausage dog and Dwight, the house bunny and I’d like to formally welcome you to my new place to vent. My previous blog had a few too many cobwebs on it from a couple of years of neglect, so deciding to start afresh was pretty easy and very necessary.
For me, five or so years ago when I first attempted blogging it was a platform I found to be very liberating. Whereby being personal, sharing my health troubles and other personal battles I was attempting to cope with, became a form of therapy and surprisingly comforting to hear how relatable it was for others too. It was nice that for a moment I had created a safe space to share personal difficulties and in return presented with other like-minded individuals.
It became a great place to share my interests, hobbies, loves, worries and most importantly an open sourced environment to share all. As much as I do like reading about what the new trend is and what foundation is next to be exploited, the blogs that always tick my boxes are the ones that I can relate to. Those are the ones where I feel as if I’m getting to know the person behind the blog more than just what their current favorite lipstick might be.
I’d also like to mention that I’m someone who loves to live and see the world in a favorable light. However, the last couple of years haven’t been too kind and you could say, that I’ve reached the end of the rainbow. I know everyone is quick to say how shit things can be but I’d like to think, on this occasion, I have come to a fair conclusion by saying that these few years, in particular, have been, shit. Whilst experiencing moments of how unfair and disappointing things were, I always tried to use those times as a way of spring-boarding into something better, why wallow? I kept pushing on, living each unfortunate event with only moments to catch my breath, dust myself off and move on to better things, for them to continuously backfire.
As much as I would like to write on and say how things eventually turned a corner, that wasn’t the case. At the beginning of this year, my dad was diagnosed with cancer and devastatingly passed away within the short time frame of barely eight weeks, after receiving the news. I can’t string together enough words or even the right words that could even begin to describe how empty I feel after watching a parent, my dad, deteriorate over a few weeks. We had an unconventional relationship but none the less, despite all his flaws, he was my dad and it’s beyond difficult to take in how he’s no longer here anymore.
I’ll be honest, as always and admit I’m struggling to find a mechanism for getting myself into a good, healthy place again. I know I shouldn’t be so hard on myself and expect so much either, especially in such a short period of time. I’m slowly starting to understand how important time is but with that requires patience and that’s not something I’m known for having, which then adds to the pile of things I am yet to tackle. I’m hoping by accepting that there is a grieving process which will run it’s course, that feeling, even if its just a small percentage, like myself, might not be so far off.
I know that everyone and their bloody aunt seems to have a blog these days, so I do apologise for adding myself to the list but I’d like to think that this is my official moment of spring-boarding into something better, for good, by getting a few things off my chest.
These next couple of posts won’t be pleasant but they sure as hell will be brutally honest and I won’t be cutting any corners regarding the truth and hey, maybe that might make you want to stick around if you’re as nosey as I am? It might also give you the opportunity to get know who I am, what I care about and what I stand for and definitely the list of things that I’m determined to put right. Not forgetting what’s important and reflecting on what really matters by planning exciting things for the future.
Experiencing bereavement is and has been a challenge, writing about it might bring me some closure and might even open a door by getting to know others that have experienced something similar and I’m all for that, so please do get in touch.
I have a wedding to plan, a close-knit family in place and a new chapter start. So, here it goes, graceoliviablog.co, 2.0?