Right, if you’ve come here for porny pics, unfortunately, you’re not going to find any of that here. Although I have partially taken my kit off for educational reasons.
This post is about reinstating body positivity, flaws an’ all. I’ll be the first one to say this is something that is very hard for me to maintain and a big reason I wanted to discuss it because I know I’m not the only one. So, it’s Valentines Day, pretty appropriate for this post and no matter if you’re single or taken it’s a big topic and I’m going to share with you, my insecurities and secrets.
Firstly, I want to mention that the underwear I’ve shown is the most lavish stuff I have and it’s hardly been worn. Why? Because I think that wearing nice underwear just promotes how awful I think my body is. It’s almost like makeup, you highlight your face to show off where the light would hit your face. Underwear, nice under, is like a highlighter for me. I feel like it encourages me to bully the ‘highlighted’ parts of my body that I’m very unhappy with. Hard to explain, however when I wear my granny pants and basic bras I feel as if nothing is being highlighted, everything is somewhat hidden and I seem to not be as irritated. Bizarre.
Can I just state, I know this isn’t right and it’s something I am working on. Recently, I upgraded my granny pants for some more fancy, lacy versions. That’s progress, right? My main issue is that I’ve always felt a bit chunky. In my family, whether it’s my cousins, aunties, mum, sister, I’m always the biggest one. I know I’m not that big but I’m the one with the thunder thighs and a bit of a belly. That’s ok, I know I’m a certain shape and a bit different but it can get to me sometimes and get a bit disheartening, so you can see why underwear is inevitably always been an issue for me. It doesn’t matter what clothes I’m chucking on, although that can be an issue at times. Underwear has been a big, underlying issue as that’s the first thing that I’m putting on in the morning.
With regards to my stomach issues, that in itself is a problem. On and off bloating, feeling sore, visible veins and patchy, almost bruised areas can all make me feel even bigger and unhappy. Therefore leaning towards the high waisted, unflattering granny pants feels nice because it holds ‘everything’ in. I feel like my stomach is hidden and I can try and ignore what I’m unhappy with.
However, underwear, for women and I guess men too, should be something to make you feel good. This post is going to be somewhat of a reminder to myself on why I should be wearing these beautiful sets of underwear.
It’s Valentines Day and I’m lucky to be with someone. With my stomach over the past two years dictating my happiness and body confidence it’s become a nightmare and has put a strain on my relationship. My boyfriend never sees me naked, maybe occasionally by accident. Shocking right? I actually have someone that wants to see me naked and I’m hiding in granny pants and bras that are falling apart. Just being affectionate is an issue. Yep, over the past two years it’s gotten to the point where I have resented my body that much, that when it comes to going to bed at night, I won’t even let the man that wants to show me affection, cuddle me. It’s something we’re very open about and discuss and I’m so fortunate that he understands where I’m coming from, but really it’s not ok. If I knew that there were other women out there body shaming themselves, I’d give them a slap. Maybe I just need to give myself a slap, although I know it’s a lot deeper than that.
It’s not about going on the latest diet and exercising till you’re blue in the face until you reached that ultimate size 6. It’s about accepting what you have and being grateful. I’m not happy with my body, I know that it jiggles in places where I wish it didn’t but that can’t be tackled overnight. That’s what the frustrating thing is and that’s why I’ve reached a place where I do want to lose weight but gradually and the healthy way. I’ve been doing that for a year now and its been extremely hard, going through patches where you punish yourself for having an oreo. Come on, if you want an oreo, have a bloody oreo! You can’t deprive yourself of what you may want on occasions, it’s about balance and that has been the hardest thing to learn. For the past year, I’ve taught my body what foods I should be eating more of as well as portion control. I used to unnecessarily eat for four and not realising that I was actually thirsty and not hungry. Crazy. However, I am now reaping some benefits.
I’m not going to deprive myself of what I love and in doing so, I’ve naturally taught myself why good foods are good. I love KFC, love it but my body doesn’t. My stomach as it is, is already slowing my entire body down so why would I shove a KFC down my gullet when all it’s going to do is add fuel to the fire. I end up sluggish, extra bloated and sore. Again, like I said, I don’t deprive myself of foods I love but I don’t eat them like I used to which has therefore resulted in gradually losing weight and thats just by cutting out what’s clearly not great for you. I know most people know all this but until you fully get it and appreciate it, it’s mind blowing and the results are worth the weight… see what I there. Oh god, I’m awful.
Weight loss rant over with, just about and I can now tell you why this post is so important to me. Now that I’m looking after my body I’m at a point where I want to love it and thats the key. Not only to help mine and my boyfriends relationship but to help myself become a happier person and that why ‘bopo’ is so important to us women and of course men too. We need to stop self-body shaming and give our bodies a break. If not for our mental health but for the people around us, that love us. Simple, yet not so simple at times.
So there it is, I’ve always been an open book so always feel free to come back and have another read but most of all, if you can take anything from this post, please remember, hating your body will never get you as far as loving it will.
Also, Happy Valentines Day.
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