I wanted to share this post as my recent weekends are spent wearing clothes that are very forgiving and worth a share. I’ve been going through a period or ‘flare up’ where I’m constantly bloated and very sore. As I mentioned in my previous post, I stay as far away as possible from jeans, I don’t think I even own a pair anymore. Jeans might be able to hug you in the right places and create a flattering shape for most people but for me, having my stomach as a problem area, I’ve realised jeans aren’t the answer.
In times like these, especially when you’re bloated and sore, you aren’t always inspired, at least I’m not as I can feel like a mammoth. Anyway, I’d always lean towards joggers and end up dressing like I’ve given up on making an effort. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with that, but after a while, feeling limited with clothing does start to grate on you. Day in, day out, wearing the same old thing, looking like I’d rolled out of bed, isn’t always a cute look. Some days I actually wanted to make an effort, which was even worse but I didn’t own anything that would accommodate my stomach and how sore I was. The dresses I owned either needed tights (which can be uncomfortable around my stomach) or were quite straight which highlighted my stomach even more. Seriously, some days I could have passed as being pregnant. I started to think that joggers were the only thing I would be able to wear to feel comfortable, physically and mentally. I started spiraling, feeling low and depressed just because of what I was wearing. I know its not about fashion for most of us, some of the time and its acceptable to have those cheeky days where you’d prefer to wear loungey clothes but making that your default outfit, probably not the best.
I’m so fed up of dealing with my stomach, as selfish as it might sound, I wish I could just be diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, have my intestines operated on and just move on with my life and the diagnosed condition. I know that people who do have the disease would rather be in my position but at least knowing what you have is a starting point, something you can work on and be educated on. Being in my position where I seem to be poked and prodded, mentally and physically, given up on because no one seems to know what is gong on, is frustrating and very tedious.
I’m in a place now where I follow a strict diet, a lifestyle thats very bland and a non existent social life. I have my family but I don’t think they’ll ever be able to appreciate the lengths I have to go to, to control what my body wants to throw at me. I don’t hold anything against them nor to the people who were my friends, even the people who i’ve just met because having something that comes across as an invisible illness requires a lot, a lot of understanding. Its frustrating but ‘frustrating’ doesn’t seem to cut it these days.
I appreciate my other half as he is the closest to really understand what it’s like to be me. Most of our weekends we have together are compromised and everything needs to be somewhat planned or approached nearer the time hoping that I’ll be able to deal with it. I’m talking about things like going shopping in town, a dog walk along the Ashdown Forrest even going to a cafe 15 minutes away. I can only go out to dinner/lunch with him because I feel like he’ll be the only one who would understand if I needed to leave. It’s normally just anxiety I get, worrying what might happen, the worst case scenario. I’ve lived a lot of my life not doing a lot to avoid bad things happening. I was pretty much agoraphobic. The pain I’ve experienced has literally scarred me. I always fear about getting pain where I cant feel my legs, getting dizzy and passing out. Getting pains where I get locked into a position and cant move and who wants to experience that in public? So my life became extremely bland. Although I’m really trying to push myself, with pushing myself I need supportive people around me and people I trust to be there in case something doesn’t quite work out. My boyfriend has been that person for almost three years now and although three years isn’t a lot of time, I’ll be eternally grateful for where I finally am today. Things still aren’t great but I’m beyond blessed to have him and that beats any bland lifestyle, I think he’s the one that has made it exciting again and worth living.
When October rolled around, my better half gave me some money to put towards some clothes. Hoping that it wasn’t because my fashion sense was abysmal but I can take a hint.
He took me out with my mum and we actually found something that was like joggers but I’d say, more acceptable. They’re the Topshop formal joggers. I have two in khaki and one in black for work. Although the quality of them isn’t the best but being in the sale for £15, I’m not going to complain. I haven’t photographed them well here but they’re a loose fitting trouser with elastic chuffs at the bottom as well as an elastic waist band. You could resemble them with harem trousers but they’re no where near as crotchy. Yes I do look like Aladdin but they’re so flattering and with a crossover fold over the stomach it minimizes any sign of bloating, thank the lord!
So, this was my Sunday lounge attire. The trousers are fab, the top is so cozy and warm but normally I wouldn’t do baggy on baggy as I look like a blob. I would normally wear a shorter jumper and tuck a little bit of it in at the front, however combining this top with a longline coat pulls the outfit in, creating an illusion that I’m a little bit like a stick!
This outfit isn’t mind blowing but I thought I’d share my struggle and it might help other people that struggle like I do. It might be the case that I struggle to dress comfortably a lot more than most but I really feel comfortable in this outfit.